Sunday, March 26, 2006
taxes, psychology, and love
Hooray! I did my own taxes!
Well sort of. I haven’t finished yet, and I did have to call the IRS for help, but still. The psychiatrist would point out here how quickly I belittle my own accomplishments. A common theme.
We always seem to come back to why. Sure, we can keep asking the why questions, but at what point do the why questions become how can we change this? I’m getting tired of the why questions. Is sticking to why questions making sure I alone am responsible for any change in my behavior?
Someone sent me a message saying “i'm sure you'll find someone”. Reminds me of when this one woman, a daughter of my mother’s friend, told me that I would find a job. I did eventually. Problem is that I’m not spending as much effort on meeting someone as I did at looking for a job. But then, looking for a job can be reduced to a science.
The psychiatrist also thinks I’m afraid of success. Yeah, yeah, fear of change and all
that. . . independence,
As soon as my brother moves to Kansas, I know I’ll regret not hanging out with him more.
Why do I never say a person’s name when saying hi to them? When telling an anecdote, why do I usually leave out names? Never any specifics. My one uncle, (father’s brother) is even worse…
I ended up leaving my cell phone charger at my mother’s, so of course my phone dies without me having a way to recharge it.
The number of posts is inversely proportional to the length of the post. (that means less of one means more of the other to those less mathematically inclined)
I have reason to believe only four people total read this on a regular basis. Myself, two others who leave comments, and one who leaves anonymous comments. If there are any more, please leave a comment with your name. Thanks. Remember, most of the questions aren’t rhetorical.
Well sort of. I haven’t finished yet, and I did have to call the IRS for help, but still. The psychiatrist would point out here how quickly I belittle my own accomplishments. A common theme.
We always seem to come back to why. Sure, we can keep asking the why questions, but at what point do the why questions become how can we change this? I’m getting tired of the why questions. Is sticking to why questions making sure I alone am responsible for any change in my behavior?
Someone sent me a message saying “i'm sure you'll find someone”. Reminds me of when this one woman, a daughter of my mother’s friend, told me that I would find a job. I did eventually. Problem is that I’m not spending as much effort on meeting someone as I did at looking for a job. But then, looking for a job can be reduced to a science.
The psychiatrist also thinks I’m afraid of success. Yeah, yeah, fear of change and all
that. . . independence,
As soon as my brother moves to Kansas, I know I’ll regret not hanging out with him more.
Why do I never say a person’s name when saying hi to them? When telling an anecdote, why do I usually leave out names? Never any specifics. My one uncle, (father’s brother) is even worse…
I ended up leaving my cell phone charger at my mother’s, so of course my phone dies without me having a way to recharge it.
The number of posts is inversely proportional to the length of the post. (that means less of one means more of the other to those less mathematically inclined)
I have reason to believe only four people total read this on a regular basis. Myself, two others who leave comments, and one who leaves anonymous comments. If there are any more, please leave a comment with your name. Thanks. Remember, most of the questions aren’t rhetorical.
taxes, psychology, and love
Hooray! I did my own taxes!
Well sort of. I haven’t finished yet, and I did have to call the IRS for help, but still. The psychiatrist would point out here how quickly I belittle my own accomplishments. A common theme.
We always seem to come back to why. Sure, we can keep asking the why questions, but at what point do the why questions become how can we change this? I’m getting tired of the why questions. Is sticking to why questions making sure I alone am responsible for any change in my behavior?
Someone sent me a message saying “i'm sure you'll find someone”. Reminds me of when this one woman, a daughter of my mother’s friend, told me that I would find a job. I did eventually. Problem is that I’m not spending as much effort on meeting someone as I did at looking for a job. But then, looking for a job can be reduced to a science.
The psychiatrist also thinks I’m afraid of success. Yeah, yeah, fear of change and all
that. . . independence,
As soon as my brother moves to Kansas, I know I’ll regret not hanging out with him more.
Why do I never say a person’s name when saying hi to them? When telling an anecdote, why do I usually leave out names? Never any specifics. My one uncle, (father’s brother) is even worse…
I ended up leaving my cell phone charger at my mother’s, so of course my phone dies without me having a way to recharge it.
The number of posts is inversely proportional to the length of the post. (that means less of one means more of the other to those less mathematically inclined)
I have reason to believe only four people total read this on a regular basis. Myself, two others who leave comments, and one who leaves anonymous comments. If there are any more, please leave a comment with your name. Thanks. Remember, most of the questions aren’t rhetorical.
Well sort of. I haven’t finished yet, and I did have to call the IRS for help, but still. The psychiatrist would point out here how quickly I belittle my own accomplishments. A common theme.
We always seem to come back to why. Sure, we can keep asking the why questions, but at what point do the why questions become how can we change this? I’m getting tired of the why questions. Is sticking to why questions making sure I alone am responsible for any change in my behavior?
Someone sent me a message saying “i'm sure you'll find someone”. Reminds me of when this one woman, a daughter of my mother’s friend, told me that I would find a job. I did eventually. Problem is that I’m not spending as much effort on meeting someone as I did at looking for a job. But then, looking for a job can be reduced to a science.
The psychiatrist also thinks I’m afraid of success. Yeah, yeah, fear of change and all
that. . . independence,
As soon as my brother moves to Kansas, I know I’ll regret not hanging out with him more.
Why do I never say a person’s name when saying hi to them? When telling an anecdote, why do I usually leave out names? Never any specifics. My one uncle, (father’s brother) is even worse…
I ended up leaving my cell phone charger at my mother’s, so of course my phone dies without me having a way to recharge it.
The number of posts is inversely proportional to the length of the post. (that means less of one means more of the other to those less mathematically inclined)
I have reason to believe only four people total read this on a regular basis. Myself, two others who leave comments, and one who leaves anonymous comments. If there are any more, please leave a comment with your name. Thanks. Remember, most of the questions aren’t rhetorical.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
from yesterday
My brother is having surgery tomorrow. He is getting a stomach band. It will hopefully enable him to lose weight. In case you don’t know, my brother weighs more than twice I do and is a couple inches taller. I plan on going to visit him in the hospital, but I’m not sure when or exactly where he is.
I can’t seem to think of anything to write again. That’s why the posts have become fewer.
Nothing here seems to change. Do I really pursue happiness? Why not?
I sometimes think I'm incapable of completing a story
I can’t seem to think of anything to write again. That’s why the posts have become fewer.
Nothing here seems to change. Do I really pursue happiness? Why not?
I sometimes think I'm incapable of completing a story
Sunday, February 26, 2006
work problems
I suppose part of me didn’t want to explore what I’m about to explore. Maybe that’s why I was procrastinating my writing today. Forgive me if the following is a little too technical for some of you. I am willing to explain anything as usual.
Towards the end of the day at work Friday, the chairman asked us if both the test and production versions of a certain program that we bought (not wrote ourselves) could be installed alongside each other. I said yes and proceeded to tell him how you could tell the difference between the test and production versions. As a result, my coworkers thought that I thought it was a good idea to install them alongside each other. The truth is I wasn’t thinking one way or the other - just giving him information, and that it is a bad idea to have test and production version installed on the same computer. For some reason, my coworkers thinking I thought it was a good idea really bothered me for a few days. What disturbs me is how something so trivial could bother me so much.
Then, there was also this other thing at work. I have to do an upload of records from Oracle (a database system) to the mainframe which I used to do daily, but hasn’t been done in awhile. The upload is limited to 15,000 records, but this time 25,000 records have to be uploaded. Usually that means we just divide it up by date. Well, I discovered that 20,000 records were updated in one day which is very unusual. I tracked down what happened and fortunately, it was just normal operation. It was decided those could just be done right on the mainframe. I had to figure out how to filter out those updates. Someone else ended up figuring out how to get a list of those updates. I just had to get the opposite of it. Well, I thought I did, but as it was time for me to leave I discovered I hadn’t. As this upload has to be done at the end of the day and I’ve been trying to do the upload for the past few days, I ended up staying a few minutes after I’m supposed to leave almost every day last week. What bothers me is that I hadn’t actually tried what I thought was the solution unitl the last minute and that I couldn’t figure out the solution. Not to mention that, yet again, something like this shouldn’t bother me that much.
Bah, I’m back to playing Quake full force again. No change in my life really seems to last.
When I go to mother’s on the weekends it’s unlikely I will post anything until Sunday. I guess it’s how I take a break from computers in a way. Or maybe it’s just that her computer is too slow. Of course, it’s interesting to see what I end up doing when I take a break from computers (not forced). I guess we already explored that though. Forced ends up being the same as not forced. Either way: TV, reading, sleeping etc.
Something could always be on with 500 channels, but why watch all day? Where do you draw the line at a constant feed of entertainment, information, or otherwise?
Towards the end of the day at work Friday, the chairman asked us if both the test and production versions of a certain program that we bought (not wrote ourselves) could be installed alongside each other. I said yes and proceeded to tell him how you could tell the difference between the test and production versions. As a result, my coworkers thought that I thought it was a good idea to install them alongside each other. The truth is I wasn’t thinking one way or the other - just giving him information, and that it is a bad idea to have test and production version installed on the same computer. For some reason, my coworkers thinking I thought it was a good idea really bothered me for a few days. What disturbs me is how something so trivial could bother me so much.
Then, there was also this other thing at work. I have to do an upload of records from Oracle (a database system) to the mainframe which I used to do daily, but hasn’t been done in awhile. The upload is limited to 15,000 records, but this time 25,000 records have to be uploaded. Usually that means we just divide it up by date. Well, I discovered that 20,000 records were updated in one day which is very unusual. I tracked down what happened and fortunately, it was just normal operation. It was decided those could just be done right on the mainframe. I had to figure out how to filter out those updates. Someone else ended up figuring out how to get a list of those updates. I just had to get the opposite of it. Well, I thought I did, but as it was time for me to leave I discovered I hadn’t. As this upload has to be done at the end of the day and I’ve been trying to do the upload for the past few days, I ended up staying a few minutes after I’m supposed to leave almost every day last week. What bothers me is that I hadn’t actually tried what I thought was the solution unitl the last minute and that I couldn’t figure out the solution. Not to mention that, yet again, something like this shouldn’t bother me that much.
Bah, I’m back to playing Quake full force again. No change in my life really seems to last.
When I go to mother’s on the weekends it’s unlikely I will post anything until Sunday. I guess it’s how I take a break from computers in a way. Or maybe it’s just that her computer is too slow. Of course, it’s interesting to see what I end up doing when I take a break from computers (not forced). I guess we already explored that though. Forced ends up being the same as not forced. Either way: TV, reading, sleeping etc.
Something could always be on with 500 channels, but why watch all day? Where do you draw the line at a constant feed of entertainment, information, or otherwise?
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
I have to find a job in this corrupt and money-driven world? I have other callings, Mr. Patent Clerk. Problem is I don't know what I'm good at. Never did. I know what I'd like to do but not whether I'd succeed at it. And of course, I always have my doubts as a pessimist. The ghost of a writer blocks your path shoving a manuscript in your facing yelling "Read this!"
Sunday, October 13, 2002
What are the figures like, 50% of American citizens don't vote? These same people complain about our inept politicians. Not voting does not work as form of protest unless no one votes. I do not see that happening. If even 30% of our population votes, a president will still be elected. Why don't you simply try to vote for one of the other candidates, not Republican nor Democrat? Who cares if you win or lose? By not voting, your are taking a defeatist attitude which will not change anything. The elected officials will consider your population to not matter if you do not vote. You will simply be overlooked.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Where are the time capsule hieroglyphics of our century? What will 33rd century archaeologists find that remains from our time? The Internet is fragile in terms of long periods of time like millenia. That 33rd century archaeologist may find a data crystal intact, but he will have no way to read it. Will there be no Rosetta Stone of the future to translate our language into something they understand? "We don't know much about the 20th and the 21st centuries but we speculate that the 20th was a tulmultous time, judging by the amount of radioactive materials found in a great many projectile weapons of the era." The Dark Ages had the monasteries to maintani knowledge. What will be our "Foundation"?
Monday, October 07, 2002
Evolution vs design. Raises an interesting issue for the open source movement. How does a non-expert user benefit directly from open source software? If you don't know what open source software is go to http://www.opensource.org. There is not enough pressure on the majority of computer users from software vendors to use open source software. Microsoft has been very cautious to not push too hard. Some think that Microsoft pushed too hard with the leasing of software licensing. I have not seen any evidence of the leasing being anything more than a sign of what's to come. The restrictions that are to come will change people's minds, maybe.
